From time to time, we’ll post something that’s not necessarily about KENPO but about WOMEN in general.  I feel that we can use this blog for more than just Martial arts.

I’ve come to a stage in my life where I am seeking out other women who are my age to know if they too are experiencing the ups and downs of their 40’s and 50’s.   I have read many blogs about women and their emotions, their weight gain, weight loss, kids moving out, then moving back in, how they deal with juggling family, work,  friends  or lack thereof, empty nest syndrome and all of the changes that come with getting older, this is some complicated, serious  stuff!!

I asked a male friend that is 47 years old what his biggest complaint is during his 40’s.  His answer was GREY HAIR. I chuckled thinking, “that’s it”?  When you read things like “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” it makes perfect sense.

I asked a woman friend in her 40’s what’s the biggest complaint is about her age:  the answer was: Tiredness. The muscles get sore, our bodies are getting older and you just aren’t as young as you once were.

After all of my research I was happy to come to the conclusion that I am not alone.  I’m coming into my Middle Age – BOTTOM LINE,  pretty much 1/2 of my life is over.  That’s not to say that I’m ready to curl up and cry about it.  My step mother and friend Barbara White once said to me when in passing I mentioned that “I’m getting old”  without a blink of an eye, she said to “embrace it”. I laughed, she wasn’t disagreeing with me about getting old, more so,  she was saying just deal with it.    I thought about this, and it’s easier said than done.  The new wrinkles, the weight gain, no matter how much I exercise, I can’t keep it off like I used to and of course, the normal every day emotions that come with aging women who are fighting it all the way, talk about draining. I spend more than I used to on moisturizers, make-up, exfoliates and have learned the art of photoshop very well.

In my 40’s, I find that I am forever evolving, I try to eat well, that’s not just something you can do periodically, it’s a lifestyle.  Sometimes I cheat with my rice and noodles – I love food, I love it so much I get down thinking about what I can’t have, I feel this is normal and if I know that what I’m doing isn’t so healthy, I’ll do it in moderation once in a while instead of daily.  I try to exercise each day…. sometimes I cheat there too by skipping a morning in hopes I’ll do it in the evening after work, but after a long day, going inside the garage to run on the treadmill or do 30 min of anything doesn’t sound appealing.   I workout without fail though at least 3-4 days per week.. I stand for 60% of the day in my office, so some hours, you might catch me doing a push up while leaning on my desk or leg lifts when no-one is looking – this all is good, but no matter what I’m doing, it’s not nearly enough to keep my scale at the number I want it to be.   I hike for 9 to 10 miles as often as I can… I’m sore all of the time from workouts.  My back hurts. I have two sets of seeing eye glasses, one for the computer and another for everyday life.   I have only 60% hearing in my right year and I’d be happy to go to bed at 8:30 each night. This means YES, I’m going to a different stage in my life.

So, I’ve just been complaining about my forties…  Let me tell you some good things about it.  With all of the changes that I feel, I have one solid rock in my life who loves me no matter what I look like any time of the day,  living in marital bliss is something to be really grateful for, my husband is my best friend who listens to everything that comes out of my mouth and puts up with my incessant planning of travel to new career ideas to our ever so busy, overbooked schedule.  I’m a grandmother of 3 beautiful children who light up my day when I see them and  I’m young enough to really enjoy my time with them.  I can run and play, they don’t wear me out too much, though I will say, it’s pretty nice to know that I’m not doing full time parenting of young children anymore.  I’m pretty sure my nerves would be frayed if I had them longer than a few days.  I have 14 nieces and nephews who are just wonderful and when I get to see them, they keep me very busy.   I feel that while I make mistakes and sometimes continue to make decisions that should have been thought out a minute longer, they aren’t nearly as bad as they were when I was younger.  I have a profound appreciation for things I didn’t notice in my 20’s and part of my 30’s, such as art, music and excellent food and a quiet walk in the woods.  I appreciate a healthy life,  sometimes, I’m the “exercise police” at my house because selfishly I want my husband and I to live a long life together.

So, this is a note to let you know that you’re not alone in all of these feelings that whirl through your brain – this mesh-pot of thoughts and complaints are perfectly normal and that it’s time to stop fighting the aging process instead, it’s  time to embrace it.   Biggest advice that I’m following is to keep the brain sharp, eat blueberries, train often, learn new things and accept the things you just can’t change……. like getting older.   So while 1/2 of my life is over, there’s still another 1/2 that is beginning… the last 1/2 so to speak…. and with the finality of that statement, I’d better make the best of it